Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Playing With Matches Around a Straw Man

Ok... what part of this is satire, and not just blatantly idiotic?It lacks understanding of the scientific method and how peer review works. Satire exposes something and is either ironic or sarcastic. This is just sarcastic hyperbole.

"Please note that this evidence is conclusive because it is going to be published in a scientific journal which is always 100% accurate."

Seriously? You think we believe that scientific journals are 100% accurate all the time? Hate to break it to you, but we all know very well that science makes mistakes. So let's try this from the reverse perspective, simply because I think we know which case is stronger.

I found a dinosaur bone. After long hours of analysis, fact checking, and reading my bible I came up with some fascinating conclusions!

Firstly, of course, I wanted to date the bones to find out how old the fossils I was dealing with are. Well, I ran some tests, and wow, guess what? The dating method said the fossils were at least 65 million years old. But then i thought to myself, no way. That's not possible. The earth is only 6 thousand years old, so I revised the dates, and decided there must have been something in the great flood that caused the apparent age to be much greater. So with estimates modified, i found the fossil was still amazingly about 5800 years old! Fantastic, its almost as old as the Garden of Eden!

Secondly, I examined the DNA of the fossil to analyze it further and found that it had DNA remarkably similar to our own! Clear proof that God designed all his creatures from a similar base. That makes total sense. So much more than common descent!

Finally, looking at the bones i couldn't determine a cause of death. I found this perplexing, but then realized it must have died in the flood. How fortuitous to find such amazing proof of the deluge. Why else would it be bured like that? No possible way could it have been because of thousands of years of sediment and tectonics andbuilding layers on layers. That's absurd.

Also, please note that this is all completely reliable because it fits within biblical interpretations of reality. I even got it posted on AiG! Also, don't worry. If any parts of the bible are contradictory its ok, because God is infallible and there has to be a reasonable explanation why it doesn't fit with actual history.

Wow. Isn't building straw men fun?


  1. what an ignorant self-rightous little boy.

  2. He disturbs me, he really does. I almost posted it to his blog comments, but he screens, so i said to hell with it. He's basically another Comfort clone with far worse reasoning skills and that arrogant brand of self-righteous and I know everything that makes teenage evangelicals so obnoxious.

  3. I read something recently which more or less said that conservatives often fail at humor because the establishment is fundamentally not funny. They take themselves far too seriously and only expose the depth of their ignorance when trying to satirize those who are ultimately much more sensible.

    What a tool.

  4. I think I'd probably agree with that. The ironic extra point of course being that making fun of the establishment is usually comedy gold

  5. I was thinking of posting but decided against it, I have to many blogs I'm trying to follow as it is :P I would have asked him what he was satiring, creationism or science. It would be great satire if he's pretending to be a creationsit pretending to goof on science. Otherwise it's just sad.

  6. *rolling eyes* I just watched his little youtube thing, I’m really getting sick of this little ditty: Have you ever told a lie? Oh then you're a liar, have you ever stole anything? Then you're a thief, blah blah do you still think you'd go to heaven? YES NOW FUCK OFF!

    (sorry, that's uncalled for)

  7. It shows a very convenient view of language. They'll use the most literalistic approach to support their claims, even when nobody uses words that way in the real world.

  8. Hey guys,

    First off; this is a great blog.

    However, I think I'll have to chime in because I've been trying to converse with AJ (Pevensie15) for a wee while now and, I'd like to think, I'm making some headway.

    He's young and impressionable. He's clearly been either indoctrinated form a young age or just not exposed to alternative ways of viewing things.

    I do not think that ridiculing him is an effective way forward.

    I've tried to calmly and honestly show him where his preconceptions are letting him down and where the faults are in his parroting of Creationist talking points (he's got a link to Hovind's website in his side bar FFS!). At the very least, I want to demonstrate that atheists aren't what he thinks they are.

    I think he can be brought 'round to a more moderate way of percieving the world and maybe (crosses fingers) engage in a little critical thinking.

    /2 cents

  9. Thank you for the compliment on the blog. i'm trying to keep it as active as possible.

    As for AJ... I respect what you're doing over there, but I saw something that needs deconstructing, so I deconstructed it. I'll refrain from picking on him further though, out of respect to your efforts.

  10. Cheers, I just hope it's worth it!

  11. I will point out I'm skeptical as to whether he can be convinced as he's part of the Ray Comfort school of thought, but best of luck.

  12. ExPat,

    I often find it's extremely hard to tell whether or not someone's worth talking to and whether they're open to changing their opinions. I've definitely been wrong before, and wasted a lot of time. But if you're making some headway, I wish you the best of luck, and make sure to tell us how it goes!

    Frodo be with you.

  13. FrodoSaves: You put it better than I could have. I really don't think AJ's going to budge, personally. He might when he gets to college if he goes to a secular university. But otherwise, I doubt it.

  14. Yeah,

    I know it's probably a futile effort, and the time it takes for a comment to get through moderation is really annoying...but it's better than trying to chat with fundies at Ray's place!

    It does make me laugh when fundies have to resort to calling Bible quotes 'hyperbole' or 'parable' when they don't like what they're saying.

    What's the deal with Luke 19:27, for instance?

  15. I would assume they pretend that its some judgement metaphor. Regardless, its still pretty horrific and tyranical even if it is metaphor. Meek and Mild Jesus as Hitchens would call him has some serious issues with turning the other cheek himself it seems.