Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Pirates of Penz... err Somalia

I'm sure we're all fairly well aware of these guys by now, but I feel the need to explain something because I've been hearing this shit on right wing wacko radio for the past week almost.

Pirates are not terrorists.

Yeah, they're unsavory, they do terrible things to people, steal cargo, ships and pretty much do whatever they want, but that doesn't make them terrorists, and here's why: they aren't motivated by intimidation, but by profit. Islamofascist terrorists are motivated by intimidation, religious furor, and often martyrdom. So a terrorist wants to fuck you up to cow us, a pirate wants to fuck you up because you have shit he wants. That said, a pirate sure as hell plans on walking away from his job with his ill gotten gain, a terrorist may or may not.

People need to get this through their skulls, because labelling every enemy who is not an official nation a terrorist is both foolish and inaccurate. Now, I have no problem with having similar policies for dealing with pirates as terrorists, but in all seriousness you aren't going to see a pirate come over and suicide bomb a school. By labelling pirates terrorists we are assigning to them an ideology and objective they most likely do not subscribe to.

Oh wait, that's right. I'm talking about right wingers. Good luck on getting through their thick skulls


  1. The other problem with that is that it dilutes the word and makes it meaningless. Terrorist just becomes another word bandied about without any real meaning except to scare people into some inaction.

  2. Terrorists, to me, are people who cause terror. e.g. the gunman who took over the Amish school, selected one group of victims and methodically shot them following his sexist ideology. I'd say those little girls were far more terrified than these sailors ever are. Somehow their terror doesn't count, though, because ... something.

  3. I actually agree wholeheartedly with both of you. But really, the sailors had much less to fear. The US navy came, and they knew that the pirates wouldn't murder them if they would all be wiped out as a result. With terrorists, as in the example you give, there are no such assurances.

  4. I'm going to employ the 'no true pirates' defense and say that, unless they have cutlasses and at least one parrot, they're not real pirates.

    So, sea bandits?

  5. You make a bold case. I think eyepatches must be required as well as single shot pistols.